i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
