I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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