Porn is love you can see.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
