I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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