Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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