I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
