he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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