i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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