So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
