I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
