i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
