i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
