There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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