Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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