You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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