i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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