Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
