i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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