it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
