dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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