Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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