Can Purell be used as lube?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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