Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
