Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
