Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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