We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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