Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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