how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
