found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
