why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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