i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
