Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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