forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
