Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
