You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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