their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
