Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
