Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
pray to the hookup gods
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
