Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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