and next time when you feel me up, do it right
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
