That's intense
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
