oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
