I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
