so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
