Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
