Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
