so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
