woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize