Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize