Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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