how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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