I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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