Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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