Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
