I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
