dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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