She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
